What are microaggressions?
Microaggressions are small words, discriminations, or acts of harassment that seem perfectly innocent on their own but add up to an entire culture of prejudice. Usually, when someone says or does something that is a microaggression, they have no bad intentions. However, these words and actions still contribute to racism, sexism, homophobia, or other harmful systems, so it is important to learn about how to recognize and avoid them.
How do I recognize microaggressions?
Basically, if a comment or action furthers a stereotype or biased idea about any group of people who are systemically discriminated against, it is a microaggression.
Now, first of all, what is systemic discrimination? Often times, we think of discrimination as something similar to bullying, but in a lot of cases, discrimination is actually connected to economic, social, and political inequality that has existed for centuries and continues to be a problem today. Racism, for instance, is a systemic issue because there is a system in place (including police brutality, discrimination in education and housing, biases in healthcare, and much more that you can learn about here) that gives power and privilege to white people over people of color. So, in context of microaggressions, someone saying something that makes you feel bad about your favorite football team is not a microaggression, but someone saying something that has slightly racist connotations is.
This still might seem a little abstract, so let's go over a few examples of microaggressions that you have probably heard of or witnessed in your daily life.
People of color, for example, often experience microaggressions that include:
Now, first of all, what is systemic discrimination? Often times, we think of discrimination as something similar to bullying, but in a lot of cases, discrimination is actually connected to economic, social, and political inequality that has existed for centuries and continues to be a problem today. Racism, for instance, is a systemic issue because there is a system in place (including police brutality, discrimination in education and housing, biases in healthcare, and much more that you can learn about here) that gives power and privilege to white people over people of color. So, in context of microaggressions, someone saying something that makes you feel bad about your favorite football team is not a microaggression, but someone saying something that has slightly racist connotations is.
This still might seem a little abstract, so let's go over a few examples of microaggressions that you have probably heard of or witnessed in your daily life.
People of color, for example, often experience microaggressions that include:
- having their names being constantly mispronounced without correction
- being mixed up with other POC
- being asked about/being told jokes about if they are in a gang, if they are a terrorist, if they have a broken family
- being asked if someone can touch their hair, hijab, or other cultural things
- being told that their cultural food smells or looks funny
- being made fun of for cultural attire
- being asked where they are "really" from, as if their American citizenship is less valid than that of a white person's
- being told they speak English very well or asked if they speak another language, especially when they are an American citizen
- being called "ghetto" or "ratchet," especially for things that a white person would be praised for
- being told they will change their mind about having kids when they are older
- being made fun of for being "basic" or liking "girly things"
- VSCO girls, pumpkin spice lattes, boy bands, or even the color pink are things that are made fun of or degraded simply because they are considered feminine
- VSCO girls, pumpkin spice lattes, boy bands, or even the color pink are things that are made fun of or degraded simply because they are considered feminine
- being dress coded for wearing clothes that show shoulders, a bra strap, or a little bit of leg, especially when boys wearing equally revealing clothes do not get dress coded
- being told to act, sit, or talk "like a lady"
- telling someone that they run, talk, hit, etc. "like a girl" and meaning it as an insult
- being told that they are "too emotional" or "just on your period"
- thinking a girl is dumb because she wears makeup and skirts or talks with vocal fry and slang
- being told that a boy is mean to them because he likes them
- being told that their sexuality is "just a phase"
- having their pronouns misused or made fun of
- making jokes along the lines of "I identify as an attack helicopter"
- being deadnamed (when a trans person is called by the name they had before they transitioned) on purpose
- being told they're only gay because they haven't found the right person
- being asked what gender they "really" are
- saying "that's so gay" as an insult
Why does this matter so much?
You know those days when nothing seems to go right? You wake up late, your phone is almost dead because you forgot to plug it in last night, you forget that an assignment is due at school, and your parents have cooked your least favorite food for dinner. Each of those things on their own would not be that big of a deal, but when added up, they make for a really bad day. Microaggressions are the same way. To those of us who haven't had to experience discrimination or harassment based on our skin color, gender, or identity, a lot of microaggressions don't seem like a big deal! In fact, many victims of microaggressions don't speak up about them because they are often told that they are overreacting. However, even though each of these things seem fine on their own, the more they are said and done, the more that prejudice is normalized and ingrained in our society. To those of us with privilege, microaggressions seem very minor, but we have to keep in mind that they can really hurt people.
What can I do about it?
The first step to stopping microaggressions is to examine your own internal prejudices. There's a big chance that you yourself have said or done some of the examples above, and that doesn't mean you are a bad person! Growing up in and around systemic prejudice has normalized a lot of things, so it makes sense that all of use are going to make mistakes at some point or another. The important part is that we are learning. To learn more about microaggressions, you can start by visiting our main source for this pamphlet here.
Another way to stop microaggressions is to call people out! When you hear or see something that seems like a microaggression, say something about it, especially if you have privilege (white, male, straight, etc.). This doesn't mean that you should be aggressive or rude, just that you should take the time to let people know why what they said is problematic. Whether they are your friend, your relative, your teacher, or a stranger, everyone can benefit from learning more about equality.
Try not to talk over the people being discriminated against! If you are white, know that a person of color will almost always have a better clue of how racism affects them than you do. If you are a man, know that women probably are more aware of daily sexism than you are. This is not to say that you can't participate in these conversations or have an opinion on this, but just try to recognize your privilege and take a back seat. This applies to when you are learning about microaggressions as well. If you have close friends who you know experience racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., it is ok to ask them more about the issue and how you can help. However, for many who are victims of prejudice, educating others can feel like chore or like a constant need to justify their existence, so try to take responsibility for your own learning.
Through all of this, remember that it is ok to make mistakes and not know everything! As long as you are trying to learn and help out, you are headed in the right direction. If you have any questions or concerns about this issue, you can visit our previously mentioned sources or reach out to us with the contact information listed on our Bismarck HSDA page.
Another way to stop microaggressions is to call people out! When you hear or see something that seems like a microaggression, say something about it, especially if you have privilege (white, male, straight, etc.). This doesn't mean that you should be aggressive or rude, just that you should take the time to let people know why what they said is problematic. Whether they are your friend, your relative, your teacher, or a stranger, everyone can benefit from learning more about equality.
Try not to talk over the people being discriminated against! If you are white, know that a person of color will almost always have a better clue of how racism affects them than you do. If you are a man, know that women probably are more aware of daily sexism than you are. This is not to say that you can't participate in these conversations or have an opinion on this, but just try to recognize your privilege and take a back seat. This applies to when you are learning about microaggressions as well. If you have close friends who you know experience racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., it is ok to ask them more about the issue and how you can help. However, for many who are victims of prejudice, educating others can feel like chore or like a constant need to justify their existence, so try to take responsibility for your own learning.
Through all of this, remember that it is ok to make mistakes and not know everything! As long as you are trying to learn and help out, you are headed in the right direction. If you have any questions or concerns about this issue, you can visit our previously mentioned sources or reach out to us with the contact information listed on our Bismarck HSDA page.